Not too long ago I had gotten lost in a cloud of motherhood
Of to do lists
And should haves
And could be’s
I lost my face in a sea of other’s perceptions and judgments
(And my own)
And I stopped taking care of me.
I’m exploring this now, you know. This whole self-love thing.
It started out spiritually…
(I think when I do things the right way, this always comes first)
And now I’m learning to care for my physical self as well. It’s nourishing. It’s loving. It’s necessary.
So what does this mean?
Thinking about it brings a quiet smile to my face and a deep exhale because I’m having fun with this now. I’m finding time for the things I stopped doing a long time ago that made me feel lovely.
Self-care looks like choosing a favorite face cleanser and washing my skin twice a day.
Starting the day fresh and ending it that way as well.
It’s face-masks in the middle of the week just because I can (not always with a ton of time, most often it’s rushed and multi-tasked, and messy. But it’s there.)
It’s running a Lavender epsom salt bath twice a week. Once with my son, giggles and splashes and nursing..and once all alone–just for me.
It’s often times staying up after everyone’s asleep to do these things.
It’s moisturizing my skin because it’s thirsty and because I haven’t loved on this body that has done so much for me. And I’m trying hard to change that.
It’s flossing again and making this a part of my me-time.
It’s choosing pretty sheets that I want to fall into at night and that I want to keep clean.
It’s choosing the gym without anxiety, without self-conscious emotions, without self-doubt. It’s working out weekly because I love what it’s doing to my mind and not because I’m obsessing over my flaws. The progress my body is making is just an added bonus and the love and respect I have for it is growing by the day. I really love that.
It’s choosing disposables over cloth every once in a while to give myself a break and not feeling an ounce of guilt for it.
It’s taking potty training slow because it feels better and because I feel no shame for wanting to spend our days out of the house when it’s gorgeous. A couple of poops on the back deck isn’t such a big deal and we celebrate that, too.
It’s breathing before speaking and meditating on my words and tone again (I fail at this, you know. I’m no Jesus, Buddha, or Mother Teresa but I am trying, trying, trying.)
It’s cooking every meal every day so that when we buy out or my mother-in-law cooks, it truly feels like a treat and a gift and that feels so, so good.
It’s drinking more water, more herbal tea, less coffee.
It’s reaching for my husband’s hand in the day and stealing extra deep kisses. It’s pulling close in the middle of the night. It’s flirting a little more.
It’s praying again deeply, confidently, smiling, crying. It’s apologizing for not being in the Word, seeing my backslides and recognizing growth, thanking God for His patience, reaching for His love and trying again each day.
It’s practicing patience. With myself, my son, my husband, and others.
It’s asking myself again what else I’d like from this life. The life that I’m living now? It once was a daydream. I never saw it coming… but God is listening.
(and so I daydream again.)
So this is my reminder to each of you, my friends: Take some time to love on you today.
You’ve been waiting, and it’s so deserved💛
Love and light.