When I decided to give my blog a facelift, I didn’t realize just how much growth I would be going through in the mean time.
Unfortunately my old platform made it impossible for me to transfer my content over internally, and so I had to go through manually and copy and paste….every. tiny. detail.
While doing this, sometimes I felt very vulnerable re-reading my posts, often wondering if I should transfer them at all.
I realized, however, why it’s so important that I do share it all–despite my ego.
My posts show great transformation and evolution since my entrance into motherhood; a cycle that I’ve learned (thankfully) isn’t brand new or unique but isn’t always talked about. If I hide these things, I’d be hiding integral parts of my development as a woman. Motherhood is messy and unpredictable and soul-changing, and although I’ve found peace and wholeness in this moment of my life, it was quite the journey getting here. I don’t want to hide that. I want other women to be able to access my stories if they need someone who understands. If someone out there feels lost, or depressed, confused, or depleted. Someone who feels happy and sad and whole and broken, all at the same time. Know that I’ve been there. I lived that. I reveled in that season and although I’m no longer in the thick of it, I am prepared to go through more seasons of growth in the future. I dug my way out of the darkness, I found my light, and you can, too.
In the beginning of my blogging journey, I talked about my postpartum experience, an adjustment that didn’t come easily but one I wanted to document for myself in order to remember and learn from–before our next edition comes, whenever that is. Then, came the warm-fuzzy honeymoon period of loving motherhood and literally thinking it was the easiest time of my life (let’s all laugh in unison right now.) Next came my identity crisis, sifting through my new senses of self, hormonal adjustments, depression, awareness, and finally… rebirth.
Initially I started this blog for myself. It was my therapy and it was a way for me to document my thoughts–hold myself accountable in terms of my cyclical thinking. After a while, I craved connection with other women who understood the deepest crevices of my soul. I needed something to dive into, aside from motherhood, and although most of my posts revolve around that, I needed something for me. Now, I have big dreams for this little slice of the internet and I’m interested to see how far I can take it.
My old blog name no longer resonated with me. I don’t want to be labeled as just a “crunchy” mom, but rather a natural mama who is trying. Really, if we wanted to go with labels, we’d have to go with “crunchy-usually-sometimes…well, besides in the winter or when depressed when I eat all the comfort foods and sneak dairy and then hate myself because my perioral dermatitis flares up on my face (but I do know that’s ‘cuz of bad gut health) but full-term breastfeeding, cloth diapering (unless traveling because laziness), forever researching, essential oil and organic beauty using mama.” Also, I use coconut oil and lavender oil as deodorant and don’t use perfume usually, so I can’t tell you honestly whether or not that’s working for me…ask my husband. So maybe I’m more hippy than crunchy.
Either way, I don’t want to fit myself into a tiny box and I don’t want to label other mothers either. I don’t want to scare readers off or confuse them when they see the word “crunchy.”
Rather, I’d like my blog name to reflect who I am today and what I intend to fill this corner of the internet with now.
You all have probably seen me write “love and light” often on my Instagram posts. My husband brought it to my attention and suggested I name this spot after that. It’s a figure of speech that’s common in the spiritual community: more specifically, those who are intentionally working towards spiritual ascension, peace, and oneness and seeking to spread positivity and light.
I want to be clear and note that I’m not into horoscopes or reading tarot cards, or anything like that. I don’t have anything against it, it’s just not my thing. I am however, a huge advocate of finding peace and healing through nature. This includes both physical and mental healing. I’m a huge lover and believer in Christ. I truly am seeking a life where He directs my steps now, rather than trying to constantly steal the reigns from Him and block out His whispers. I’ve learned that living that way doesn’t work out so well for me and I’m finally learning to submit. Things have become much smoother since I’ve made that decision and I see Him sweeping through all areas of my life. You’ll see my love for Him sprinkled in here, too. Another form of love and light.
So this is me now. No longer drowning in depression (although I still have my days), but seeking a natural life that will bring me peace, love, and healing. I’ll write about all the things that bring me there along the way.
I’m so thankful for all of you who have been a part of my journey so far, and for those who will stick with me from this point forward. This community of women has truly healed so much of my soul and I’m forever grateful for each and every one of you.
With love and light 😉,