The views were absolutely breathtaking. It is like a dream! Sunflowers are my absolute favorite flower and to walk through a field of them was truly amazing.
It’s perfectly imperfect. Just like my life these past few days.
If I wanted everyone to think my life is always polished and perfect and together, I’d only post these:
But it just wouldn’t be real.
These past couple of weeks have been TOUGH for us. Ever since I decided to wean my son at night, life as been crazy.
Tantrums from him.
Mood swings from me.
Prayer. Lots of prayer.
So to be real….
This is what the sunflower patch REALLY was like:
There aren’t many tender mother-son photos like I had imagined…
Because when he wasn’t wandering and exploring alone (something I didn’t mind)
He was crying…or screaming (something I tried not to mind.)
The photos where he IS smiling with me? Only happened because I tickled him.
I was flustered, sweaty, dirty, and people who walked by just stared at us as if to say, “Geez lady, way to ruin it for the rest of us.” I tried to laugh it off but I couldn’t wait to get him out of there, and at the same time just wanted to stay to enjoy the scenery.
I hadn’t seen Taylor in months and really needed her in that moment. I had orange slices for my son in the car and then nursed him, which kept him calm just long enough for Tay and I to catch up, vent, and connect. She breathed life into me.
Even then I was grateful.
As I reflected on the day I journaled and wrote:
Today I give thanks.
To the beauty of this world.
To the chaos.
To soulful friendships.
To the wispy moments that make up my life.
It is a good and full day when you get to taste each emotion. Today my soul is satisfied.
I have tasted wonder, joy, stress, defeat, relief, sympathy, anguish, guilt, delight….